Somehow, somewhere along my journey I was convinced there was a certain way I was supposed to look, act, feel, learn, love, live, dress, laugh, interact with others, work, and move through my life. From that moment on I spent 100% of my time feeling inadequate. I judged myself. My confidence completely dissipated. I never felt like I could do anything right. It's hard to love what you see in the mirror when you create a crazy idea of what is supposed to be there. Even my talents seemed small when compared to the things I though I was supposed to be good at. I lost the best parts of myself and tried to fit this image I thought everyone had of me. I strained myself to reach others expectations.
I was critical of my body, and I hated myself.
I know I'm not the only person in the world to ever feel like this. Boys, Girls, Men, Women, every age everywhere. Media, our peers, family, friends, everything tells us who we should be. What we should look like, what we should be wearing.
Well I'm here to tell you it's all bull shit.
You are, exactly who you are for a reason.
Your trials, your dark past, the pain you've been through make you who you are. The way you work through them gives you incomparable strength. Your talents, the way you can make others laugh, the smile you wear despite the fact that your alarm didn't go off, and the car wouldn't start makes a bigger difference than you know.
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE ANYTHING BUT WHO YOU ARE.
I love who I am. And I may still struggle with insecurities, but I know I am who I am supposed to be. I'm not perfect, and I never want to be. I struggle with depression, but I will never let that define me. I'm not a size two, and I don't wear fancy designer clothes. I love that I can't find a pair of jeans that fit me right because my waist is thin and my legs are muscular. My concert Tees, Rugby gear, sundresses and 56 pairs of shoes all speak to my unique personality. My heritage, culture, and family give me deep roots to lean on and learn from. I am a fantastic cook, I love to read, I am caring and charismatic. I don;t have the greatest voice but I love to sing, and I sure can sing loud. I am strong, and fast. I am smart, and strong willed. I, am beautiful. Its taken me years to be able to say that, and mean it. and god does it feel good.
I'm going to art school, because a traditional secondary education wasn't right for me.
I'm in love with a wonderful man. He loves everything others told me was unlovable.
I'm writing and sharing a blog that isn't always easy, because it is important to me.
I am happy, because I am choosing to be everyday.
I am beautiful, and I am finally letting myself see it.
I hope you see how beautiful you are, because I do.
